A Diagnosis...sort of

Today Adam and I took Ryker to see a developmental pediatrician. We decided it was time to bite the bullet and get a diagnosis. I went to our appointment thinking that we would leave with a definite diagnosis for Ryker. But this doctor does an evaluation in 3 visits...2 for testing and 1 for diagnosis/recommendations. I actually really like her and her approach - it is good to be thorough. We will do more testing in a week. She wasn't willing to give an official diagnosis today without completing the testing, but would say he has many autistic behaviors. So, we all know the truth but no one is willing to say it yet. I will say it...Ryker is autistic. I have two autistic children.

I have had the last year to come to terms with this reality, so I am OK. However, it does seem a bit surreal. Autism makes life a lot more complicated. There are long lists of things we must do and not do... Hide the toothpaste. Always put the extra lock on the screen door. Don't change plans without telling Ellany. Keep straws with you at all times. Don't leave anything on the table/counter that you don't want thrown on the floor. Don't leave anything on the table/counter that you don't want eaten. Hide all flap books out of reach. Keep the chocolate syrup in the garage (trust me...). Don't start a video when Ellany is out of the room. Keep the bathroom door CLOSED at all times. Always expect the unexpected!!

I suppose I am venting a bit. Yes, autism makes life difficult and I don't believe in pretending. But I sure love my kids!!! They are so precious. After our appointment today, Ryker fell asleep in the van. I looked back at him sleeping and got all teary because I love him so much. After I make it through my chaotic life, I will have these 3 sweet people with me forever. And that makes it all worthwhile.